Because paying $1.62 for a bottle of water isn't interesting enough.

I decided to cut a tiny slit in the side of my bottle of water to make drinking it more interesting.

Why, you might ask? Well, I was bored.

Clear and concise.

That was the mantra of my Technical Writing professor a couple of years ago. An admirable sentiment, really, but only in very limited situations. Lord knows I'm certainly not clear and concise, and nor, thankfully, are writers (authors, anyway; I'm sure actual technical writers are pretty clear and concise). If Stephen King were clear and concise, he'd have one novel out, and it would consist of one word: "Boo!". Beethoven's 9th would be about 30 seconds long, and progressive rock would not exist.

I think one should be clear and concise in one's thoughts, but not necessarily in one's communication. For example, one could sum up the Christian faith in just a couple of words: "Love everyone.", but it would take a lot more than that to get the idea across in its entirety.

If your thoughts are short and sweet, then it's easier to communicate them, I believe. Like now, for instance, my thoughts are muddled and confused, and I couldn't think of how to say what I wanted to write -- which is, incidentally, how I got started on this topic. If people were to consciously try to arrange their thoughts on a given subject into some semblance of order, I think a lot of confusion could be avoided. If people could really get there point across -- I mean really get it into someone else's head, then people would be a lot more empathetic to another person's cause or plight. Obviously some people lack the capacity for empathy and compassion, but I think better communication could really help out a few existing situations and keep some others from existing in the first place.

But I digress. Although, it's not like I really had a main point to begin with.

...Oh yeah, clear and concise. Yeah, that's definitely me. *Ahem*

The cynic in me thinks number 1, but the stomach in me disagrees.

According to my Snapple cap, there are more French restaurants in New York City than there are in Paris.

...Really? That seems so bizarre. I have to wonder if any "American" restaurants exist outside of our own country. I mean, I know there are McDonald's and Taco Bells, etc., abroad; but are there upscale, 5-star American restaurants in Paris? London? Rome?

(...After a bit of research...)

As it turns out, there are several, but not nearly on the same scale. I figure it would be one of two things:

1. We're so desperate for a bit of culture that we siphon as much as we can from anyone we can get our hands on, or
2. We really, really like food. And French food is delicious.

Stephen Crane is my homie

A man said to the universe:
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"That fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

I think that may be my favorite poem of all time. It's got several things going for it: it's a little cynical; it's a lotta Naturalist; and it's funny as hell. 3 for 3 ain't bad at all. Naturalism is my favorite epoch of American literature, as it contains many of my own views on the world.

To put it simply, Naturalist writers' message was thus: Life sucks, but the forces controlling everything (God) are beyond our comprehension (though we certainly try, and with good reason), so you might as well get used to it, and, if possible, laugh a little. That's why I see humor in everything. Everybody takes everything so damn seriously, and never just stop and laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.

I often wonder if people just never take take the time to appreciate the inherent humor that is the universe, or if they just don't get the joke. Everyone goes through life setting up the greatest joke ever told, but they never listen hard enough to hear the punchline.