Dunkin' Donuts now sucks on a whole other level.

Dunkin' Donuts sucks. On two levels:

1) Their donuts are lame. They're all cake donuts and, while I enjoy cake donuts occasionally, Krispy Kreme's yeast donuts are far superior.

2) Their freaking commercials.

 

The second level of sucking is the subject of this particular diatribe. 

They've had, off and on for the past year or so, a commercial wherein a group of people are in a generic mass-produced coffeehouse (an obvious mockery of Starbucks), standing around staring at the menu. Then they start to sing. "My mouth can't form these words/ My mouth can't say these words/ Is it French, or is it Italian?/ Perhaps, Fritalian?" 

The commercial is making fun of the silly names for some drinks and, I think more to the point, drink sizes. I will grant them this. Starbucks really should just call its sizes small, medium, and large. But they don't. And really, it's not hard to say "tall," "grande," or "venti," is it? I didn't think so. Other coffeehouses do this too, with slightly different names for sizes and drinks. But it's all pretty much the same. As I said, I grand them this: it's sort of lame. But then what happens in the commercial is this: John Goodman starts a voice-over, talking about how "normal" DD is, which, again, I can grant them. Then, though, he says "The Dunkin' Donuts Latte: you can order it in English." This is the point at which my head explodes.

Latte, you pricks, is an Italian word. You cannot order one in Inglese. Sure, you can specify the drink size in English, but the drink itself? No, you have to order that in Italian (unless of course you want to say "May I please have a medium cup of steamed, frothy milk with a shot of espresso [though that's another Italian word for which you should substitute "steam-pressed coffee"] in it?"). This bugs me so much that I actually wrote an angry e-mail to DD (which was, I might add, promptly received, read, distributed, discussed, and ignored).

I have continued my boycott on DD, which was began in response to Suckiness Level 1, but has since been expanded to include both levels of Suck.